{Kura} I'm Falling Forever; I'm Going Under

[Aubrey Rein Dechanté]

Everything always found its way to black. Every living thing in reality was always forced back into a cloud of darkness, whether they wanted it to be or not. Aubrey’s life was like that. No matter what happened, it was always forced back under a blanket of pitch black; and he didn’t mind it. He thrived in the dark. The dark was the only constant in his mind and it was the only thing that seemed to give him happiness. But now…now there was no such thing as happiness. Now there was simply sorrow. A sheath of pain had been laid on top of the boy, and now…now he had nowhere else to turn but to her. To the bringer of death; the angel of it herself. Kura. Kura was the only person he knew would be able to kill him quickly, if he antagonized her enough. Maybe if he pushed her hard enough and fast enough, she would just cut his throat right there. That was a quick and more or less painless death, don’t you think so? Well, Aubrey did. That was his plan. Make it quick and easy for her, and just get out. Just get away.

That was what Aubrey wanted. He had killed people before…he had seen people get killed in front of him…and now it was time for him to be rid of his existence, just like everyone else in his family. He was following in their footsteps, really. He was fulfilling his mothers’ wishes; for the mistake to be gone. Never before had the boy thought of himself in the way his mother painted him so often, until now. Now it was like every single one of her words echoed throughout his entire brain, and he couldn’t help but agree. Useless. Pathetic. Unwanted. Mistake. They all rang like loud church bells inside the most deep and private sanctions of his mind; and he could no longer ignore them. He could no longer stop the voiced from taking over his mind, mimicking his mother; mimicking and reminding him of how much exactly he was hated. Hated by her. Hated by him. Hated by everyone.

That was why Aubrey was here. It was why he stood in the sand of the beach, the cold air brushing his hair back and forth in front of his face. The sunset was pink and red and was reflected gently on the water. His over-scarred torso was buried within a deep blue hoodie and a Paramore T-shirt he had found on the side of the alley once. Deep red skinny jeans clung to his leg, seeming as though his blood would mix in nicely with them when…well, when it happened. When Kura got the chance to rob him of the thing he used to hold so deer, the thing he cherished so much; his pitiful life. He didn’t really care about much of anything anymore, and he liked it that way. His right wrist was broken and wrapped in weak bandages. His left arm had a deep cut that was still healing by his shoulder. His face had a cut from a tree branch right above his left eye that led down over his nose and crossed onto his right cheek. His eyes were blank; distant. He wasn’t there. Aubrey was never there anymore. But the sudden smell of death itself in the air, the light thuds of feet hitting inaudibly against the ground, told the boy he was no longer alone. A sad, almost scared smile spread across his face. His eyes looked down at the sand scattered around his feet before he spoke up in a small voice, one that was weak and tired.

"I knew you would be here."

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[Kura]

Following a winding, leafy path, the playground had long since been forgotten, having been erected amongst a small copse of trees. Its location was further out and more secluded, leading most to go to the bigger playground that had been built in recent months. But a few still remained loyal to the disregarded little clearing, bringing their children to appreciate the nostalgia in the faded red slide and creaky swings. Mothers always came in groups, sitting on benches whose paint had almost completely peeled to reveal the grainy wood underneath. They reminiscence about the old days when the monkey bars weren’t quite so rusted and when the merry-go-round actually turned instead of groaning whenever it was made to move more than an inch. However old the little park was, children still had fun here, climbing over the sturdy wooden structures and pretending the little domed tower was a castle, or the nest of a pirate ship, or whatever it was that children liked to pretend.

It wasn’t the peals of childish laughter that caught her attention, however, but the little pair of lips that were moving, moving, desperately trying to tell her something. But no sound came out. Her face scrunched up in confusion and for some reason, instead of speaking, she shook her head. She couldn’t hear him. He frowned harder and repeated it, but only his lips moved. No sound. No sound. She couldn’t hear him. The little child glowered and bared his teeth, seeming to growl in frustration. In any other case, it might have been comical. But urgency surrounded him, like something was going to happen; like something bad was going to—

Her hearing seemed to return to her in a loud hissing screech, quickly becoming too much and she cried out and covered her ears with her hands. Everything was gone in a second, leaving her hanging in the darkness, but it remained with her, echoing like a ghost in her ears. So loud..grating…make it stop—

Something wet pooled around her feet, looking ominously maroon in the place with no light. Metallic. Its scent was metallic. There was too much of it. The child shook, scared to look for its source. She didn’t need to, didn’t want to, she knew which pair of silver it belonged to. But like traitors, her dark pools traced it back to the familiar iridescent silver, so bright, so dark, so—

She woke with a start, tangled and sweaty in the thin black sheets. A faint light filtered in through the open window and beside her, the red letters on the clock face glowed 4:36 A.M. With a growl, she dragged herself out of bed, surveying the empty room out of habit before making for the little bathroom to the side.

Kura supposed she was lucky. A deal, those scientists had called it. In exchange for doing their dirty work, they let her live outside the Mill, paying for everything she needed. The little one room apartment she had chosen was situated in a quiet, out of the way corner of town. It was bare save for her bed in the corner and a table propped against the far wall littered with an assortment of weapons, each glinting evilly, as if asking their owner for blood. Hanging proudly above the table was a nodachi, sheathed and waiting. It was a long blade, reaching up past her waist if she propped it on the ground next to her. The snake that made up the guard of the blade flashed the most menacingly out of them all, as if calling, screaming, out in bloodlust.

Having changed into a black t-shirt and loose fitting cargo pants, Kura made her way to the table, selecting two thin daggers with a slight, wicked curve about the length of her forearm. Strapping them to her thighs, she grabbed her long coat and keys before putting on heavy boots and heading out the door.

The morning was a cloudy one, like spring mornings are prone to be. Like usual, the streets were empty, only just starting to groggily wake up and, like lately, a thick scent of rain hung in the air. The heavens still had yet to open up, and the static running in the air was enough to make the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Kura hoped it wouldn’t be a thunderstorm because as calming as they are, all the electricity in the air made her mutation act up, leaving her more irritated than usual.

Getting from her little apartment to the beach was only a ten minute walk – four, when she sprinted. Kura liked going there, if only to listen to the surf crash onto the sandy shore and recede back into the ocean. The crisp sea air greeted her first, meeting her nose like an old friend. Next was the ground getting grainier, littered with little pieces of sand blown there by the wind. Her boots crunched over them before falling silent on the expanse of sediment across the street. Saffron eyes absently gave the area a once over. Vacant. Just the way she liked it.

If not for the temperature of the water, she would have gone for a swim. Remnants of that dream still haunted her, flashing behind her eyes. She growled, low and threatening. It always haunted her. Even when she didn’t have that dream, it always hovered at the edges of her consciousness like a flashing hazard sign, threatening to throw her off if she gave it the chance.

Kura rubbed the corners of her eyes tiredly, annoyed at herself for having held on so long. That accidently never happened. Not to him, at least. It took others from her and instigated this mess in the first place. A wind picked up around her, blowing back the length of the jacket that she never bothered to zip. The cold air felt good.

”I thought you’d be here.” Kura stiffened. The wind had been blowing his scent away from her and she had been too deep in thought to register the muffled footsteps. She sent the boy a vehement glare, as if to say, ”What?” Annoyance bubbled up within her; he was supposed to be dead after all. Did he really think would really get lucky a second time?

[Aubrey Rein Dechanté]

Happiness was something Aubrey didn’t know he could still feel. But for some reason…when he heard the girl…smelt her in the air…happiness rushed through him. The saddest of smiles lit up his face as he contemplated how this would happen. Maybe he should insult her a little bit. Maybe if he straight on attacked her, then it would be over quick. That’s all Aubrey really wanted, was for everything to be over. He wanted everything to cease and for all the pain to just go away, and he was going to do that with Kura’s help. He knew how to do it too. He knew how the girl ticked; he had known her back when they were just…just simple friends, not good friends…but friends nonetheless. Back before everything changed into the obscure reality they were stuck in now, and it was so hard to accept it as well. Who would have thought that Aubrey would come to the girl, years later, simply to end his own life? Who would have guessed? It wouldn’t have been Aubrey, because back then…back then he didn’t think anything like this could ever be possible, but as his nose picked up on the stench of pure, rotting death in the air…he knew it was. His tail curled and wound its way around his waist and slightly up his stomach and his ears were propped up to the utmost ability.

He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he turned to look at her. He let his deep brown eyes clash with her elegant yellow ones, and in that short moment, he exposed everything to her. Every single emotion she had missed out on with their last encounter was plainly shown through the look he gave her. Deep within the darkest sanctions of his eyes were dark pits of sorrow. They seemed to just suck and suck and keep sucking until there was nothing left of the boy but a hollow shell. That’s all Aubrey ever really was. A hollow shell. Almost like the chocolate stuff they put on ice-cream that hardens and shapes around the actual food inside it; but the thing was, Aubrey didn’t have anything left inside him. When you looked at him…it was like looking at a blank book, waiting to be written on. He was a blank piece of paper, an article of nothing waiting to be tainted with the ink of Kura’s dagger. There was always a sense of innocence when someone thinks of paper, when someone thinks of Aubrey. His father used to tell it to him when he was a kid. His friends used to say that he was the closest thing to a pure little angel they had ever met; but now it was different. Now Aubrey wanted to get rid of it all. He didn’t want purity anymore. He wanted death. He wanted Kura to pull out a scythe larger than herself, and he wanted to watch her grin mischievously before she went into complete darkness, and Aubrey followed after willingly. That’s what the girl was to him essentially. She was the angel of death itself, and that was who Aubrey needed. That was who he wanted to save him, because there was nothing else pure left to save him. It was like living in a reality that never really existed; all a little fantasy world inside his head, one which he wanted to get out of, one which he needed to get out of.

Ever so slowly, he raised his arms so they stuck out left and right, his chest and full form in clear exposure. There was no doubt in Aubrey’s mind that Kura could see the bandages on his right hand. That she could see the cut on his left arm. Kura had a way of sensing these things too, and it was something Aubrey never really understood. How can you sense when someone is hurt? When someone has a wound that you cannot see? He figured this was one of the main reasons why oblivion twelve recruited her. She was perfect for them in every sense of the word. She had feelings, but she could blank them out long enough to destroy someone, to tear them to little tiny pieces if she wanted to. Aubrey wondered for a short moment, if she would do that to him. If she would make it hurt like nothing he had ever felt before. True, he knew what pain was, but he knew emotional pain all too well. He wanted to know physical pain. He wanted to know what it felt like to have something gashed all the way through your body, to feel your breath coming in short and heavy gasps. That was what the boy deserved, after all. Aubrey felt that he deserved the most brutal punishment from the girl. He deserved to have his limbs ripped from him slowly, allowing his muscles to rip and tear with such agony inducing screams that it would drown out everything else inside him. He had to keep screaming in his mind, because screaming meant sound, and sound meant life; but he wanted to stop life, so he needed to stop screaming. But to stop screaming, he had to stop living, and so that was why he was here right now. He wanted Kura to teach him how to stop scream, he wanted the girl to show him what it was like to be silent, to never say another word ever again.

He didn’t think it was too much to ask for, but then again, apparently being loved was too much to be asked for as well. He had lost Tyler now, and he had lost the only chance he had at ever feeling loved; and that was why he knew he belonged here. He knew he belonged here on the beach, waiting for his body to spill countless ribbons of crimson to stain the pure white sand beneath him. Because that was what Aubrey did. He contaminated everything. He destroyed everything, and so now he was going to destroy himself. He spoke up in a small tone to the girl, speaking in a defeated and shaky voice, giving her once sentence and one sentence only, and waiting for her to respond.

“Kill me.”

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